"No Monkey Business"

Nikki's favorite saying for the last 2 weeks is "No Monkey Business!" At first, Nick and I couldn't decipher what was coming out of mouth. In the beginning it sound more like "No monkey please." But that didn't make much sense. Then we listened closer and it started to sound more like "No monkey biz" like show biz. We figured the teachers at her school must have told her that or told the kids that. Nikki's gotten a few incident reports for some of her shenanigans so this does not sound too far fetched -- getting told no monkey business at school. I know we didn't teach her that nor any other people that look after her. It's pretty cute though, and she loves saying it. She scrunches her nose and closes her eyes and says these words with such vigor.

I'll be nicer...promise

Three weeks ago, I hadn't cried as hard as I did in a long time. We decided that it was time for Scoobie to be put down. At 14 years old, she had hip dysplacia, incontinence, cataracts, loss of hearing, and was in pain. She began to stumble and looked like she had a stroke. She looked paralyzed and had stopped eating. Even when we tried to force a little bit of food in her, she wouldn't take it. We first noticed this on Sunday. We began observing her Monday and then Nick called and said that it was time. He didn't want her to suffer and asked that I take her in to the vet to be put to sleep. I asked him to think about it and to make sure that this should be done. He said she was old, didn't look well, and wasn't eating. We made an appointment on Tuesday. That day, I left worked early and on my way home, I was thinking about Scoobie and I couldn't help but cry over her. I had known her for almost 10 years. She was our first baby. She was always so loving and protective. She loved Nikki and was gentle with her even when Nikki tugged at her tail and poked her eyes.

When I finally got home that day, I went to Scoobie and said my farewells. I took my camera and took my last photos of her. I sat there with her, petting her and gave her some cookies, which she ate. I looked at her more closely and she began to run towards the yard and when she came running back to me, I thought, "Wait a minute, she looks pretty good." What happened? Her head was still tilted to the side, she still kind of stumbled but she didn't look as bad as she did a few days ago. She was taking food from me and was walking around. Soon after, Nick texted me, "Kiss Scoobie goodbye for me." I texted him back "She's eating" and then I called him, sobbing and telling him that Scoobie appears to be okey. I didn't know what to do. We decided to call the vet and ask that she be checked out before we do anything else.

I put Scoobie in my car and we went for a ride. She perked up and looked around and stuck her nose out the window. She has always loved car rides. We got to the vet and she was checked out. The vet was very gentle with her. After he completed his examination, he said that Scoobie is having problems maintaining her equilibrium and is dizzy. It seemed Scoobie had an ear infection that was causing effects similar to vertigo. So it was just an ear infection? Well, not to take it too lightly, Scoobie had to be sedated in order for the doctor to clear out the waxy buildup inside her ears and he can check out her ear drum and ear canal more closely. I had to leave Scoobie at the animal hospital over night for her procedure. The doctor said that that appeared to be the main cause of her dizziness, ill-feeling, and no appetite. Oh my gosh, what a relief? That whole time we thought Scoobie was a goner....it was just ear wax! :)

I picked up Scoobie the following day. I had called earlier and asked that Scoobie be groomed. When I got there and I saw her, she looked beautiful. Her coat was shiny and she looked very sweet. She still wasn't feeling well, but was on track to recovery. We left, with antibiotics in hand, and headed home. Scoobie was welcomed home by the family and we now have a better appreciation of her.

I Guess I Had Some Time

I ended a friendship several months ago with someone I had known since high school. We had at one point in our lives called each other the best of friends. But how can supposed best friends, who had known each other for almost 15 years, end a friendship in such an abrupt and callous manner? Perhaps we weren’t all that close to begin with.

The end was near when I had to ask why she hardly called or emailed me. It always seemed like I had to be the one calling and making the effort to go out or to chat. Apparently she had already taken the steps to pull away from the relationship long before I had known there were any serious problems. When I questioned her, I found out I had treated her badly and disrespected her numerous times. She claimed I didn’t listen to her and that I saw her problems as juvenile. She claimed I didn’t give her enough praise for her accomplishments. This grudge that she had with me went back several years prior to this. Not to sound totally clueless, I really was not aware that I had hurt her the way she said I did, by the words I used or the lack thereof. When I asked her to explain, I did try to be open-minded and hear her side out. I tried to understand why she was so hurt. I tried to explain the reasons behind much of what I had said and what my intentions were (if I can even remember). But despite the apologies it still didn’t feel like she can let it go and thoroughly forgive me. Why did she wait so long to say all of this now? Why did she have to bottle all of this in, when it probably could have been resolved or at least efforts to resolve it could’ve been made right then and there. I don’t know, maybe I made it too hard. Maybe there were other issues beyond what was said. Maybe it had something to do with other people.

I’m not a person who finds enjoyment in ripping people apart. I try to be empathetic and I try to be a good friend. I might be sarcastic and like to joke around, but I genuinely do try to treat people the way I’d like to be treated myself, out of respect and kindness. When it’s time to get serious, I get serious. In a way, it seemed whenever I talked about good things that were happening to me, I sometimes felt like she’d get uncomfortable. I sometimes felt like she thinks I am showing off or that I actually think I’m better than her. For most people that know me, they know I am pretty modest. I don’t often toot my own horn. I know people who brag about everything and anything under the sun, but I’m not one of those people. I don’t feel I need to do that to prove my worth. With her, I felt I had to talk about the bad things happening to me in order to have a connection with her. Sure, like any normal person, everyone goes through challenges in their lives. I know that. But it seems I needed to have MORE drama in my life to somehow relate to her more. I’m not saying she has a lot of drama in her life, but I’m saying that in order for us to connect more, I needed to be more of that type of person.

Why am I writing this for people to read? Why am I still hung up on it? I feel the way the friendship was ended left things still unresolved and unfinished. I took the chicken shit way out of it. I essentially emailed her a Dear John-esque letter saying that we were better off no longer speaking to one another. I decided to go ahead with it because it was more difficult to hold on to a friendship with someone who I felt no longer wanted to be friends. I’ve always had that in me, I suppose. When I can sense that a relationship is one-sided, I get out fast and usually without looking back. It would have been nice to get a response back from that email though, but maybe it was just too difficult. The letter (email) was not written angrily or maliciously. It was written out of respect to let her know that it would have been difficult to continue to be friends after all that has happened and I didn’t want to be fake and pretend that things were okay. By this time, we were different people too. Why did we become friends anyway and what were the things that made us look for each other and need each other for comfort and support? Maybe it wasn’t there anymore and we didn’t need each other the same way we did. And we had other people in lives now to fill that void.

The purpose of this blog is partially therapeutic. I would have wanted to get at least one response back or at least have it acknowledged in some way or another. Maybe again we weren’t seeing things the same way and maybe she wanted to begin working on mending this friendship and I just ended it. I don’t know, these are all assumptions. Maybe that’s just it; the flaw in our friendship was lack of communication and assuming the wrong things with the other person.

A couple of pictures of the Little Lady in my life

Nikki at 20 months old. She's at her Grandparent's house hiding behind the sofa with that mischievous grin of her's.



Nikki, again at Grandmama and Grandpapa's, on a hot day. She was running around with a bathing suit and shoes and socks. She likes to scream and yell out "WOOOOOWWWWW!!"

Relaxing in the new pool

I called in sick from work today. Nikki passed her cold on to me so I've been feeling kinda blah. I don't feel horrible, just kind of yucky so I decided to just stay home and take it easy. I haven't taken a sick day for AGES so this is a pretty good day to take off, since I took care of things that I needed to take care of at work. I thought I would blog about the pool remodel. We have completed it! We changed out the copper pipes with PVC, replaced the coping, tiles, and plaster.

Before the Remodel



During the Remodel


Remodel Complete!




Pool at Night


We're pleased with the new pool. We've taken several dips in it already. Nikki loves splashing around and I'm trying to get her to float on her back. She's still a little scared but enjoys being in it. It's great when you want to relax and just do some laps and float in peace. I might go in a little later when it gets warmer.

Fourth of July

This year we went down to the park a few minutes from our house. It was just a hop skip and a jump away. We set up camp earlier in the day and laid our blankets and lawn chairs to claim a spot. My family came and so did Nikki's pal Lexi and her mom Wendy. It was so much fun seeing Nikki and Lexi having a good old time. That's what these holidays are all about --- family and friends, childrens' laughter, seeing them happy and running around, and enjoying the outdoors. This is the first year we did this and maybe we'll make it one of our annual family traditions....and the more the kids, the better!

As the fireworks show ended and Nikki woke up from it (she saw half of the show), she said, "Nice lights!" That made it all worth it. What more can a Mom (and Daddy) ask for?

Just hanging out....for now

Nikki's taking her mid morning/afternoon nap and so I have some time to blog a bit. Nick is getting his Father's Day massage and we're waiting for him to get back so that we can go to lunch. Before Nick left, we met with a pool contractor to sign the paperwork for the pool remodel. I think I may have posted once before about the pool being a pain. Well, the time finally came when the pool just got the best of us. After all, it is 25 years old and when it's time, it's time. We're excited about getting it remodeled and using it. Hopefully, everything will work out just fine and we can use it without having to worry about another pipe springing a leak. It seems to always happen around summer time too. Go figure.

It took a couple of weeks to finally decide on the contractor and there was a little bit of a bidding war. I was going to go with this other guy and although I don't think I was obligated to stick with him, since we hadn't signed any contract, I changed my mind and went with this new one that gave me a better quote and more features. Soooo the first guy got all, well, not really offended, but thought we had made a verbal contract and he felt that it wasn't done right. I felt kind of sort of bad, but afterall a "buck is a buck." I hope I don't get bad karma for this.

I haven't been on here for a while....

It's been a while since I last posted. I almost forgot how to get in here. Anyways, what have I been up to? Well, Nikki is 15 months old now. She's a lot of fun and from what I can tell so far, she's got a goofy sense of humor. She's silly, she likes laughing at herself and others, enjoys it when you joke around with her, and loves it when you smother her with big kisses. Nick and I love her so much. Actually, we sometimes argue over who has kissed her more times. Frankly, I think I've kissed her about 20,000 more times than Nick has. :) Nick is still busy with work and school. As far as the latter one is concerned, I think I'm actually starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I don't know how it would be with him out of school. Weekends with no studying? I don't know if I can handle him being home more. :) Kidding...I can't wait for that.

As far as work, since moving to the Air Quality section, I've found it to be so much more rewarding. I'm learning, I'm being challenged, I'm doing work that is meaningful (well, at least to me anyway). I'm so busy, that I no longer even use my MP3 player anymore (and this is a good thing). I hate being bored and doing the same old thing over and over again. I hate days that seem to never end. I love it that my Franklin Planner has tasks and todo lists written all over it.

I feel comfortable in my skin. Sure, there are days when I feel like crap, and I would love it if I can lose 10 pounds, but for the most part, I like me. With all my faults and everything, I like who I am. I love my Fridays off, because it allows me some time to do stuff that I want to get done (ie. errands, housework, relaxing, and maybe even a nap). Nikki keeps me busy and Nick is awesome about taking her out to give me a break. Those breaks bring some sanity back and allows me to decompress a bit. I like my freedom and when you have a rambunctious little one running around, you lose most of that. But I appreciate my breaks, my quiet moments, and I love my family beyond words. So far things are good.

My puppy

My little puppy is almost a year old. She's having her 1st birthday party in a couple of weeks. Time sure has flown by, I tell ya. I hope the fires are fully contained by then. Otherwise, I will have to resort to Plan B....whatever that is.

Maturation....

Growing up
Moving forward
Accepting your faults
Being comfortable in your own skin
Liking yourself
No longer caring what people think of you
Cherishing the people that love you
Bettering yourself for you and not anyone else
Letting go if you’re better off
Looking after yourself and those most important to you
Being considerate of others
Playing fair
Treating people the way they treat you (better or worse)
Showing interest when someone's telling a story
Not holding grudges
Being able to express your feelings to someone who has hurt you
Taking pride in what you have without being made to feel guilty
Appreciating cleverness and wit
Content
Done

Can't Break Her Fall

Mat Kearney

"Can't Break Her Fall" - I'm loving this song right now. I tried to get tickets to see him at the House of Blues but I was too late. I'd have to get them through a scalper to see him.

My Little Peanut - 2 months old

My little peanut

Born: November 18, 2006 at 8:44PM
6 lbs 9 oz, 19.5 inches

What does one do with themselves?

I technically started my maternity leave last Thursday. It was pretty good, I got some stuff done around the house and all. Come Monday of this week, I was getting stir crazy. I'm not one to sit around and clean and cook and wait. I was sort of hesitant to go out and run errands so for the whole day I was stuck at home, twittling my fingers, on the verge of going crazy. I made phone calls, went online, watched tv, took a nap, but I don't know how people can do it. Be home all day and like it. I expressed my frustrations to Nick, who had class that night and didn't get home until close to 10. On Tuesday, I woke up and thought about what I was going to do that day. I laid there in bed and thought, great another fun-filled day of being home alone and trying to find things to keep my mind occupied. Nick called a few minutes later that morning and left a message, asking me to call him back. I did and he said he was going to pick me up at noon and he was going to take me out to lunch. Really?!?!?!? I was completely surprised that he was going to leave work and meet me. I was thinking he'll take me to lunch and then he'll probably go to school and study for the rest of the day and come home early in the evening. When noon came around, he picked me up and we went out for Indian buffet. It was very good but later it gave us horrible heartburn. While waiting for the bill, I asked him if he was planning on going back to school or work. He told me he had taken the rest of the day off and was planning on spending his entire day with me. I was really surprised and happy and almost close to tears. He was so sweet for thinking of me. He knew I was somewhat upset and sad about being home and with the emotions and waiting for the baby, he decided to take the day off and take care of me. Isn't that awesome?!? I felt so special and happy and it's reinvigorated me. Today, I'm feeling much better. I've made plans to go run a few errands close to home and to try to do constructive things. I went and rented a movie to watch later this afternoon. I feel very lucky to have him.

It could happen anytime now...

Last Friday Nick and I visited the doctor and she checked to see how the pregnancy was going. She did a pelvic exam and informed us that I was at 1-1/2 centimeters dilated and that the baby has started to go down. Wow!! I had no idea. It's all starting to happen and it's so exciting. So what does that mean? She said that it could happen anytime now; in a matter of a couple days to a couple of weeks. It's a huge range, but the fact that it's all beginning to take place is pretty amazing.

Today is my official first day of maternity leave from work. Actually, with Veteran's Day last week, my last day was Wednesday. I've been doing the usual stuff around the house -- organizing, preparing, washing baby's clothes, etc. I have to pack my overnight bag and have started filling the baby's diaper bag with things she'll need. Other than that, I'm just pretty much waiting. We're almost completely done with the nursery. We have to go exchange the crib mattress because I read it's better to get a mattress that's a bit firmer with a coil count of at least 150. Yeah, I've been reading a lot about that stuff, so I'll have to wait until Nick has time or if someone else can take me to get it exchanged. I can't really leave and go by myself to run those types errands now. My brother is taking a week off from work Thanksgiving week, so that will be good.

Nick still thinks she's coming Thanksgiving weekend, around Nov 27th. My due date's the 28th. My family and I have all made bets that she will come earlier. I think I had predicted that she'll be here Nov 19th, my sister said Nov 16th and my Mom and Dad were saying Nov 20th and 21st. My brother was the only one who thought she was coming a little later at Dec 1st. Since his birthday's Dec 14th, maybe he's hoping she'll be a December baby like him. I guess we'll find out eventually when the day finally comes.

Baby Update #2

I went in for my routine checkup and everything is progressing very well. Nikki's growing and I'm sort of using my belly button as a marker to check how much she's grown. The belly button hasn't popped out yet but, ummm, I'll give it a month or so. We started our lamaze classes last Thursday. It's a 2 and a half hour class and we have to meet for a total of 5 classes. In the first class, I think the most pertinent information that was told could've taken just an hour or less. What I got out of it was that I needed to practice squatting and breathing. Since getting pregnant, I haven't really been excercising a whole lot. When the times comes and I have to deliver Nikki, muscles that I haven't been exercising will get a shocking surprise. So essentially, I need to practice squatting so when it is time, I'm hoping the pain won't be as bad and I'll have better stamina. But who the hell knows if all this is true?!? I'm just hoping that what they're telling me will help and if I prepare enough, it will ease the pain and discomfort. Just 8 more weeks to go until baby comes! I'll be on my 8th month next week and so the count down continues.

P.S. I'm blessed with an amazing husband. He threw me a surprise Baby Shower last weekend and it was wonderful. There were maybe 70 or so people that attended and he had Hawaiian dancers perform. Although, I wasn't completely surprised, he still managed to pull it off and did an awesome job at that. I'm very lucky!!!

The proud Papa!

Why you....

I overheard a salesperson at Babies R 'Us make the following comment, "Yeah, they're better than the Dodgers. The Dodgers never win anymore." WTF?!?!? The Dodgers are in a freakin' penant race you stupid B@#TCH!!! Sorry, I just had to let that out. Come on, if you know nothing about a topic just keep your gums shut!! HAHA

Nick bought Nikki a pink Angels outfit. He says she can wear it on game day. It's very cute and all but I don't watch any of the Angels games. I'm going to have to find a Dodgers outfit for her, because whether he likes it or not, she'll be rooting for my team!

Tappa....tappa...tappa....

The baby sure is active. She keeps kicking and squirming in my tummy. I think she wants to come out, but she isn't done yet. Nick, for the first time, felt her kicks. I told him to place his hand on my belly and within a few seconds she gave me two BIG kicks. Pretty cool!

Baby Ticker

Baby Update

So I went in for my routine checkup yesterday. One of the items in the agenda was to discuss the results of the AFP test and the ultrasound, which I had done a couple of weeks ago. I looked down at the paperwork in front of me and saw the word "twin" written at the very top of the ultrasound results. I didn't think much of it at first because when they were doing the ultrasound, there were no signs that showed I was carrying more than one baby. Well, the doctor noticed this and said that it definitely looked like a mistake because the results on the ultrasound was only referring to one fetus. To confirm, she pulled out the ultrasound and we took a look at my little girl. She looked so cute! :) And she looked like she's grown! She was moving around and was very active. I actually feel her movements quite often in my tummy. Anyways, the doctor said that it appeared like there was only one baby and that the radiology department must have goofed. I'm hoping this was the only thing they goofed because everything else looked fine.

It was an interesting feeling, thinking for a split moment that you may be having twins. There was a feeling of slight elation at first, obviously. But when you start thinking of how much work would be involved with two, utter relief comes over you when they tell you there's just the one. Maybe we'd be fortunate enough to have twins the second time around but for now, we're just ecstatic with the little one on the way. I'm now half way there...